Risk appetite is invisible
Your tolerance for loss shifts day to day. No trading tool measures it.
Product demo
The problem
Traders size risk on vibes, not biology.
Losses land harder some days
How much a loss stings depends on the state you walk in with.
Every tool reads the market
Terminals, bots and dashboards model prices. None of them model the trader.
Insight · The Pavlovian loop
A good sample means you can afford to lose.
- 01Strong sample
- 02Higher pain tolerance
- 03Riskier bets
- 04Optimism pays
The product
Meet the Wank-Bot: sample in, position out.
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01
Deposit
A discreet dock collects a full ejaculate sample. Pre-ejaculate is rejected at intake.
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02
Assay
An on-board sensor measures the sample's electrolyte ratio.
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03
Score
The model turns that ratio into a daily Vitality Score from 0 to 100.
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04
Bet
The agent sets today's risk tier and places positions on Polymarket.
The risk engine
The Vitality Score sets the risk tier.
Full send
Drag the score to see how the agent sizes today's positions.
Vitality Score
Tier
What the agent does
Why
0 – 39
Recovery
Small stakes on heavy favorites
A loss today would really sting
40 – 69
Steady
Moderate stakes, balanced book
Normal pain tolerance
70 – 100
Full send
Big stakes on long shots
You can take the hit, and optimism pays
Tier thresholds are illustrative.
No Dock yet?
Estimate today's Vitality Score.
Six questions. The agent turns your answers into an exact Vitality Score, the factors behind it and a matched bet.
Today's estimate
??
6 questions left
Answer all six, then run the agent for your exact score.
What moved your score
Best window to trade today
Exact match
"Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day."
Not financial or medical advice. The agent's markets are made up.
Why now
Three curves just crossed.
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01
Prediction markets went mainstream
Polymarket and its peers now list markets on nearly everything, around the clock.
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02
At-home semen testing already exists
Consumer kits already read sperm metrics at home. We read a different signal: electrolytes.
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03
AI agents can trade on their own
Agents can research, size and place positions with no human in the loop.
Business model
Three ways we make money.
Hardware
$420
The Dock
One-time purchase. A discreet countertop unit with the sensor built in.
Subscription
$69/mo
Vitality+
Daily scoring, model updates and the trading agent itself.
Performance
6.9%
Winnings fee
A cut of net profits only. We get paid when you do.
The ask
Raising $690K to run the pilot.
Build the Dock
Sensor prototype and a discreet countertop enclosure.
Train the model
Map electrolyte ratios to Vitality Scores and risk tiers.
Run the pilot
69 traders, 6 weeks, real positions on Polymarket.